Welcome back to Marriage Mondays! It’s been wonderful taking time to be with family and friends through the Christmas and New Year holidays, but we are excited to get back to our regular Monday posts.
For today’s post I, Allen, thought I would write about an analogy that God gave me one night before I was to speak at a marriage conference this past year. Throughout the week of the marriage conference, called CONNECT, we learned of so many hurting marriages and we were so burdened for them. As I was trying to go to sleep one night, I had this vision of a huge beautiful mighty Live Oak tree. Being from north Florida, we have a ton of these huge, majestic, old, moss covered Live Oak trees that can be several hundred years old and whenever I see one, I’m always in awe of them. That tree was a representation of what a strong, beautiful, long lasting marriage looks like.
If you think about it, that tree started out as a small, week little sapling. It had fresh green leaves and a smooth trunk. It was cute, but not really catching the attention of people as they traveled by. Now, many many years later, the tree has a very wrinkled looking trunk, the big thick branches are starting to sag towards the ground because they are so heavy. There is a bunch of Spanish moss covering up the leaves, yet the tree is absolutely stunning to look at. They are revered among the trees in the area and it is actually illegal to cut one down.
It took a long long time for that tree to grow from such a small sapling into the majestic mighty behemoth that stands strong and proud today. That tree has had to endure countless hurricanes, thunderstorms, deep freezes, insects, loggers to be what it is today.
That’s just like a strong marriage. They don’t just start out being strong from day one and are always strong without having to endure any struggles. As a matter of fact, the more struggles a couple has to endure and make it through, the stronger the marriage. The limbs of the oak tree have been pulled and cracked and put under all kinds of stress from the storms it’s been through, but each time it heals and is even stronger than before.
Carol and I have a marriage that a lot of people look up to, but we have been through an incredible amount of storms and trials and disappointments and hurts to get where we are today. Our love is stronger today than it ever has been and that is because we have not given up on each other and we have figured out how to communicate and work through the hard times. That is the secret to a good marriage, communicating through the crap and not ever giving up. People give up way too easily these days and they don’t realize that what they have really been wanting, is just on the other side of the tough time that they are going through right now. It’s not easy to see, but it’s there!
When you face a trial in your marriage, and believe us you will, that’s NORMAL, just remember the mighty oak. Remember it didn’t become strong and beautiful in year one or year ten, it took centuries and it had to stand up to tremendous storms and stresses to be what it is today. Even though we have been married for 21 years and have a strong marriage, we are also mindful that we are still learning and growing and are just getting started. Don’t ever think that marriage is easy! It can be amazing, and fun, and satisfying, but it’s always going to take work. You will always have to be intentional in building up your marriage and defending it and not allowing any enemy to sneak in and tear it apart.
BE AN OAK
Cheering you on!
Allen & Carol
