marraigemondays
When you first get married, all seems blissful! You are marrying the person of your dreams and you can’t imagine ever feeling anything but love for that soulmate of yours, right? Then a few months in, a few years in, or 20 something or more years in, and your like…um…this is way harder than I imagined!
Read MoreFall is a time for new routines, new schedules, new rhythyms! A time to take inventory and have a bit of a fresh start… the Fall Season of Marriage is a time for us to BE INTENTIONAL! A time to really focus on what we will do to grow our marriage and strengthen our marriage and make it a priority!
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First of all, we want to state loudly and boldly that our beautiful marriage is only possible because Jesus Christ is at the center of it. We strongly believe that without His love for us, there is no way we could love each other the way we need to.
Okay, now that we have established that, we wanted to share more on this subject of who fills our cups...who truly satisfies our souls. Now it's no secret that we LOVE being together! We have so much fun together - adventuring, laughing, cuddling! We really would rather be together than anywhere else. Cheesy, but true. Ha-ha.
However, early on in our marriage, I think we both really thought we were supposed to make each other happy. We spent much time trying to make the other one happy...not because we felt like we had to, but because we just wanted to. We love seeing each other smile. Why not, right?
But what we didn't realize is that there is a deep hole inside each of us that was only meant to be filled by one, and that is the Lord Jesus Christ. As we have matured and grown in our marriage, we have learned that neither of us can MAKE the other one happy...and guess what? It's not our job to make the other happy or satisfied. And believe me, we have tried plenty of times and then been crazy disappointed when we failed. Then as we grew, we learned 2 things:
1. We have to choose to be happy (thanks for those wise words, Dad); and
2. Only God can truly satisfy our souls.
....
Wanna know what's truly going to make you happy in your marriage? Serving each other and giving to each other...setting your own desires aside for the sake of the other. After all, that's what Christ did for us, right?
If you're looking for your spouse to be the source of your happiness, to satisfy your soul, to fill your cup, it will never fully happen. Why? Because your spouse is human and imperfect, as we all are. Those are unrealistic expectations (which we will discuss in another post). Marriage was never intended to be what fills you up. It's a representation of the way Christ loves us.
So we realize this is not at all the message the world tells you, but the world doesn't know how to make lasting marriages either. Only striving for the example that Christ laid out for us - to serve each other/give up ourselves for each other - can make a strong marriage that lasts and is truly satisfying.
So go ahead and give it a try. We challenge you to see if serving your spouse doesn't satisfy your soul & fill your cup, more than relying on your spouse to make you happy. It's worth a shot, right?
Cheering you on,
Allen & Carol
Well this past week has been a bit of a doozy for us. After traveling for Christmas and then again for New Years, we were so excited to finally have a week at home and relax a bit and tackle a long house projects list. We had all kinds of house projects on the to-do list and were ready to tackle them! Bring it on! That’s when we hit a bump in the plan.
The past few months have literally flown by. Between keeping up with our kids busy schedules, our own busy schedules, pouring into friends’ lives and squeezing in some get-away-family-camping time we have been missing the opportunity to post for Marriage Mondays. But…seasons!
Just like the weather, our marriage can change with seasons. We can be in Summer one moment and Winter the next. One never knows!
“I never minded the risk, but we always did it together” Anyone recall this line from The Greatest Showman? This was spoken from one spouse to another toward the end of the movie when things weren't going so well in their relationship
Back then, we just knew we were good for each other. We brought out the best in each other (even when it was painful to do so)! We made each other laugh (and only cry occasionally. LOL). We loved each other unconditionally even from a young age. We knew we had something special even then.
So what's a husband to do when he pursues his wife but she gives every excuse imaginable? Well, he begins problem solving, of course! ... I began to be so very grateful that we got out! Then we began dreaming together...it was such a wonderful night...but I almost missed it!
My husband has always been the hands and feet of Christ to me but now more than ever!! Never once did he complain. Never once did he demand I come home. Never once did he even offer unsolicited advice (or try to fix things...although I'm sure he desperately wanted to). He just loved me unconditionally and listened to me...for 6 long weeks!
Allen and I had the most amazing weekend! We attended a marriage conference in Jacksonville Florida……….