Happy Monday everyone. This is Allen bringing you the marriage mondays post this week.  This week, I really want the husbands to read this.  This is something I feel is extremely important and comes from something I've had to deal with personally.
Every man has a built in desire to be respected by their wives. Some men think that respect means that your wife just does everything you tell her to do without question and she is to serve you your food and drink at your command. I'm here to tell you that that is not respect, that is fear!  I for one do not want my wife to ever have to fear me. Why would anyone want that. Trust me when I say that it is way better when your wife truly respects you because you earn her respect by treating her like a princess and honoring her.  

     Don't get me wrong, God designed us men to be the leaders of our homes, but that does not mean a dictatorship.  We are to lead by following God's will for our lives and serving our family.  That's what makes a real man!  Trust me it's not easy and it takes a real man to take the job and not give up.  I'm by no means perfect at this, but that is my aim and I have the respect and admiration of my beautiful wife.
     There is one very important issue that I have noticed and thought needed to be discussed.  The issue is men not honoring their wives with their eyes.  Trust me, it's hard not to look at another pretty woman, especially when they are all over tv and magazines and billboards and the internet.  However, the Bible says that "even if a man looks at another woman lustfully, he has already commited adultery in his heart."  That statement just tears at my heart because I, unfortunately have struggled with this in the past, and I am extremely unproud of that.  Fortunately, I learned that I am not the only man that has struggled with this and I read a book a few years ago called "Every mans battle."  The book is a great read and the best thing about it was that it actually gave me a tool to help me fight the temptation.  It says that whenever you see an image of a woman that is inappropriate, BOUNCE YOUR EYES, before you are even able to make an inappropriate thought about her.  Also put barriers in place that make it hard for you to even seek out such images on purpose.  
Here are some practical ways that I fight this temptation.

•  One thing is that I allow my wife to look through all magazines that come into our home before I look at them and I have given her full editing privileges to either color in or cut out images I shouldn't see, or even ones that she is just uncomfortable with me seeing.  It's wonderful, because I feel free to look at the magazines later and she doesn't have to worry about me stumbling accross anything.  
• Another thing I do is turn my head whenever an inapropriate commercial or scene in a movie or tv show comes on.  It doesn't have to be anything explicitely sexy or pornographic, but even if a woman on the show is just wearing something a little too revealing or tight, it still makes my wife feel valued and respected when I turn my head.  I do the same thing when we are together in public and it just builds more and more respect and trust from my wife.

Now there are plenty of times when my wife is not around and an image presents itself. That's when the bouncing your eyes has got to become a habit.  The moment you don't do it, that little tiny rush gets in your head and then it is just a matter of time that you completely give in and fall into a habit of looking, that is extremely hard to get out of. Also, it just totally hardens your heart and you don't have a true peace and it litterally starts tearing your life apart.  

I am so much freeer and at peace now that I am fighting this fight and the more time that goes by that I don't give in, the easier it is to fight and it is actually much less of a snare or desire.  I am also so much more satisfied with the beautiful lady that God gave me and my heart beats hard for her whenever she's around.

Trust me guys, it's worth the fight and your marriage is worth it!  Don't let the world lie to you and tell you it's ok to look. It's a slow fade down a path that leads only to destruction and it is not where you want to go.  TRUST ME!

Cheering you on,
Allen & Carol